What is “Art”? That’s a question I asked myself multiple times. At the age of 16, I feel totally lost on my path to adulthood. Everyone has some sort of goal or career. Almost everyone my age has something they want to work toward.
My name is Sengu, and I have no goals. When I was younger I had many aspirations. I wanted to become a doctor, lawyer, pilot but most of all I wanted to be an artist. But as I grew older it was clear that being an artist wasn’t appreciated by society.
“Being an artist won’t earn you any money.”
“Really an artist?... You aren’t serious right?”
“I know you like art, but you have to grow up”
All those remarks felt like a stab to the heart. Those comments probably had a bigger impact on why I lost my interest in art.
Today was Monday, I woke up and went to school like usual. Today was also the day of my career counselling.
“Morning Sengu!” The person that spoke was one of my classmates.
“Morning” my reply was curt, but my classmate didn’t say anything. After I sat down and the chatter in class subdued the teacher entered.
“Good morning, today your career counselling sessions start. Here are your schedules, also some of you need to rethink your career sheets. I am going to hand back your sheets.” Mr. Sara finished.
Mr. Saru is a good teacher. He pays attention to his students and isn’t really all that nosy. It’s easy to tell he cares for his students and his job. AS he walked around handing back people their sheet, he looks and stop giving some people advice and kept going. Finally he reached my table and handed me my sheet.
“Sengu, your career sheet… Why is it blank?” When he asked that I remembered that I left my sheet blank.
“I just… can’t think of anything I want to pursue.”
“Fine, just come to the faculty room later.”
After Mr. Saru said that he moved on to the next person. Classes went on and soon the school day came to an end. Before I was about to leave though, I realized that I had to meet Mr. Saru.
“Excuse me” I said as I stepped inside the room.
“Oh! I thought you wouldn’t come. Just take a seat here” He spoke motioning to the chair in front of him. As I sat down he started talking. “Sengu, you have good grades and you are talented. Are you sure you have nothing you want to pursue?” The way he spoke didn’t feel pressuring, it just felt curious.
“I just don’t know what I want yet. I need some time because everytime I think of a career it just ends in a blank.”
“Alright, I won’t push you on this since it’s still early. But Sengu, you are free to pursue whatever you want.” There was a pause before Mr. Sara pulled something out of his drawer. “Here, this is an art exhibition that’s going to be hosted at Toronto, near the CN Tower.” As he finished speaking my eyes went wide, it felt as though time had stilled. What I saw in his hand was a leaflet to an art show. The rest felt like a haze. I thanked Mr. Saru for the leaflet and started walking home. The whole walk home my eyes could only stare at the leaflet. Having something art related handed to me by someone else at that was a shocker. It surprised me even more because I was truly considering going. As I walked into my house, everything seemed quiet, so it was clear that nobody was home. I washed up then sat down with some food. As soon as I sat down I started researching about the art show. It looked interesting to say the least, the show looked well organized with the actual title being “Blue Morning.” The concept was that everybody that participated in the exhibition will make a piece of art with the theme “Blue.” What blue means to you can be different than others though. This looked intriguing for sure, but before I can do anything I will have to ask my parents for permission. After an hour my mom came home.
“Hey, how was work?” I asked as my mom came in. Both my parents worked full time jobs. My mom comes home at 6 and my dad at 9. With both of them staying at work for long, most of the time I am home alone.
“Work was good, I am tired though” She sighed. “How was school?” My mom asked.
“School was alright. Mr. Saru handed me something.” As I showed her the leaflet, she looked surprised.
“Sengu! That’s a leaflet for an exhibition!” my mom exclaimed.
“Yeah it’s at CN Tower. Mr. Saru said I should consider it” I whispered the last part.
“You know… it’s been a long time since you last talked about anything art related.” As she voiced that out I felt dread somewhere deep inside me. “But, I think you should go Sengu. After all, art is your passion.” That was our conversation, I just nodded at her words.
At night I lay down thinking about art. “What is art?” “Should I follow my passion?” “What will become of me if I become an artist?” As those questions surfaced through my mind, I felt myself falling asleep.
The morning was silent, when I looked at the view outside my house it was “Blue.” The morning looked beautiful with the sun covered by the clouds. The landscape was like a watercolour painting with multiple layers, it was as if blue had consumed the world for every moment. The atmosphere was quiet, to others that morning will look like any other. But to me it felt like elevation, it was as if a fog had been lifted. I could say this with all my soul, this view I won’t be forgetting anytime soon.
Afterwards I washed up, ate breakfast and got ready to go to school. Last night all 8 hours of sleep was filled with dreams about art.
My dreams had colours, layers, brushes and most of all the dreams had “Blue..”
As I stepped onto the school grounds, someone greeted me.
“Morning, Sengu!” The guy who greeted me was the same guy from yesterday.
“Morning.” My reply was short but this time I said more softly. Walking inside the school it was nice, the morning sun rays were shining through the windows. Today I came to school a little earlier than before. Walking into my classroom I saw more people, they were all conversing with each other. Truth being told, I don't like talking to people that much. That’s why I always go right on time, so that nobody approaches me.
“Good morning, most of you got your career counselling done yesterday. But the people who didn’t and still need help deciding take your time.” As Mr.Saru said those words I could see him glance at me. Mr.Saru was our homeroom teacher, and so he was in our first class everyday. When lunch came around I went to talk to Mr.Saru.
“Excuse me, Mr.Saru.” Mr.Saru then looked at me and nodded for me to come in.
“So, are you going to the exhibition?” Mr.Saru asked.
“Yeah, I want to go. But I will have to book a flight since we live in Calgary.” As the words left my mouth Mr.Saru looked surprised.
“Really! Alright here, these are some good hotels to stay at in Toronto.” Mr.Saru looked really happy as he handed me the pamphlets. “Most of the hotels are budget friendly,and I recommend you go for two days”
“I will think about staying for two days.Also thank you for helping me out.” After saying that I left, as I walked out of his office I hoped that he understood the sincerity in my voice. Soon the end of the day came and I started walking home.The walk home I looked for cheap flights and hotels to go by and stay at.
Fast forward to 6pm, I reached home and freshened up. I was waiting for my
Mom came home, so I can tell her that I am going to the exhibition. At 6:30pm
my mom "Mom,came in, she looked tired and exhausted.you look tired. How was work?" I asked her in à neutral tone.
"Work was exhausting today. How was your day?"
The way my mom talked made me feel bad, about the fact that I am going to ask about the exhibition. "My day was usual. Mom I uh... I want an exhibition at CN Tower. "Even to my ears my voice sounded hesitant.
"You really want to go!Yes you should go!" My mom's. tired and exhausted voice
suddenly turned into an excited one.
"Is it really okay for me to go?" This time my voice was the excited one.
"Yes, it's okay. For the first time in a long time you look so excited for something”. "My mom's words were true, this was the first time in a long time. And that was it, that was the only conversation we had before me and mom sat down to book tickets for Toronto. We called my dad and showed him everything as well. My night ended up being filled with unexpected events. The flight got confirmed and will be in 3 days, I will probably end up reaching Toronto one day before the exhibition. When I went to bed I went giddy, and really excited.
My 3 days before the flight felt long and short. The first day I asked for a 2 day leave and told Mr. Sare about the trip. After that I bought things I might need: a travel toothbrush and some new clothes. The second day I packed up my things and double checked all my reservations for the trip. And the third day (the day before my flight) I double checked the time for my flight.I also made sure to pack some art supplies and a sketchbook just in case I got bored on the flight. At night I made sure to go to bed early and turn on my alarms,since my flight was at 12 pm and I would have to get to the airport at least 2 hours ahead.
I woke from sleep at 8pm, my mom was also awake making breakfast.My dad was on the couch watching TV.
“Morning.” My voice was raspy with sleep, and my hair was a mess.
“Morning,Sengu.” My dad sounded tired probably because he came home late yesterday.
“Sengu! Make sure to check the flight time and go wash up, I am almost done making your breakfast.” My mom sounded excited as she called out of the kitchen. I did as she said, I checked my flight time which was still 12 pm. Then I washed up and got dressed.As I walked to the table I saw that my mom and dad were already there.
"Thank you for the food." After say that I dug into the pancakes my mom made
"Sengu slow down." As soon as my mom said that I slowed down my pace.
"You must be really excited about this exhibition!" My mom exclaimed cheerily.
"Not really. But it's been awhile since I last travelled. "I am pretty sure my parents knew that I was excited and that I felt shy about the whole thing. The rest of breakfast was uneventful, every once in our conversations were normal and a while my parents gave me tips on what to do and not to do in Toronto. By 9:30 we were out of the house, and on the way to the airport.About at 10:00am we were at the airport. "Mom, dad I will be fine in Toronto by myself don't worry." My parents had emotions on their faces, their expressions were a mix of sadness, worry and happiness.
The goodbye between me and my parents wasn't really heartfelt per say. We hugged, I thanked them for letting me and then my mom told me to call her as soon as I got on the flight. After that I checked in and dealt with all the security for my baggage. The security gave me my ticket and told me my flight will be in about an hour. As I sat down waiting many thoughts crossed my mind. Things like what was going on at school? What is Toronto like? What will the exhibition be like?
So it was time for me to board, I did the check in and then walked through the tunnel to get to the plane. At the entrance an air hostess greeted me. I replied to the greeting and then went to my seat. My parents really like to spoil me so they booked business class. The seat was a good one too, it was near the window and had a big screen. I put my handbag on top and then sat down. It will take a while before the plane actually takes off, so I called my mom.
"Sengu! How is everything? Did you get on the plane properly? As my mom bombarded me with questions I felt a sense of peace,and a chuckle escaped me.”I
I am fine and I got on the plane." My reply was calm. “Okay, alright. Make sure to call me after you reach okay?”my mom said.
"Yeah I will. Bye mom, I love you. "My voice was soft and sounded happy.
"Love you too” "Be safe and have fun." With that my mom and I cut the call. Our timing was also very good, cause just after the call, the pilot announced that we are
getting ready for take off. Everyone started fastening their seat belts. As the flight took off, I relaxed in my seat and started thinking.
When I was younger I always did art everywhere. For me colours were life, all those pretty hues dancing In my hand. I drew everywhere in my sketchbook, class notebooks, my house walls and almost every spot of my room.
Of course my parents got mad at me but they were also very happy that I liked art that much. They bought me any art supplies I asked for and always drew with me when I wanted them too. As I grew up I drew more complicated art pieces,the shapes got more detailed and the colours got more complex.Even so the spark that art gave me never disappeared.Over time my house got filled with canvases,sketchbooks,paints,pencils,sculptures and so much more.But things changed when I got to middle school.Kids were interested in more things and not art. Soon I became insecure and stopped doing art.My art supplies ended up being locked up in some room in our house.Now almost 3 years after all of that I am doing something art related again.And more than anything I am excited.
Soon after about 25 minutes a flight attendant came and asked if I wanted refreshments.I ended up asking for ice tea. The 1 hour 30 minutes flight didn't feel as long as I thought it would.Time passed as I thought about things and what art meant to me. "What is art?" "What does art mean to me?" These are questions I asked myself many times. For me art was something more than tangible, it was something more than physical form. For me art feels like something within people, art is creation.If you know how to create, then that's art.
For me art meant
creation and imagination. But the question "What is art?" always baffles me, because I don't know what art truly is.Though I do think that art is more than physical creation.
All my thoughts kept me busy, as the flight came to an end. The pilot announced that we arrived, and everyone started to get out of their seats.I also did the same. I got my luggage and exited the plane. After getting inside the airport I went to the washroom first to wash my face. After that I went to baggage collection, and waited for my bag to come out.
Soon my bag came and after picking it uр I was off. I had already booked a taxi beforehand, so all I had to do was look for my name at the front. Looking around
I saw one of the drivers holding my name. "Hey!" I called out looking at the
guy holding the sign. I started walking towards him and we locked eyes. "Hi, you are Sengu right?" He spoke with a smile on his face.
"Yeah." I think that the guy understood easily that I wasn't one for small talk. He gave me a smile in return and started to put my luggage away in the back. I sat down in the back seat, and that guy sat in the driver's seat. And we were off after I gave him my hotel address. For a while we sat in silence, but soon he broke it by speaking- "My name is Dali, nice to meet you!" "The way he talked made the atmosphere feel a little more easy. "Sengu, nice to meet you too." I replied.
"So why are you visiting Toronto?" The question sounded genuinely curious.
"An art exhibition, at CN Tower, "I said. He hummed in acknowledgement and that was the end of our conversation. The ride to the hotel came to an end and I paid for Dali. We said our goodbyes and then I went inside the hotel. I checked in, got my keys and went to jump into my room. As soon as I saw the bed I was on it. As I lay down, my mind remembered the fact that I had to call my mom. So I did just that and faced her this time. She picked up after 3 rings. "Sengu! How was the flight?Are you at your hotel?"She sounded worried.
"Yeah. I reached the hotel perfectly fine." As I reassured my mom, she sighed.
"Alright. You sound tired, get some rest. Also your dad will call you tomorrow. "My mom sounded happy when she spoke.
“Yeah, alright. Bye mom, I love you "I said.
"Bye. Love you too!” After that we hung up.I got off the bed and went to get changed and take a nice shower. When I came out I ordered lunch, since it was already 2pm. The food came in about 15 minutes, I thanked the guy and sat down to eat. I planned on spending the day inside today, because I felt tired and exhausted.
Fast forward to the next day. I had a good night's sleep and already ate breakfast. My dad also ended up calling and asked how I was doing. He also told me to take pictures and send them to him and my mom. Now I am outside my hotel and in the downtown Toronto.Walking around Toronto felt different than walking around
Calgary. I could also see the CN Tower not too far away from me.
Toronto downtown really looked like a busy city, with cloudy weather but the temperature was still hot. You can see multiple buildings and many signs. The streets were packed with people of all sorts. I took pictures as well pictures of the big building, the bustling streets, all the restaurants and all the signs. I went shopping and ate at famous restaurants. Even though I lived in Canada I still felt like a tourist. The noise of Toronto also gave me a sense of peace and wonder.
That's how my first day in Toronto went. I got back to my hotel at about 6:30 pm. After I was done washing up and sending the pictures to my parents, I sat down on the bed. My day was very fulfilling but now I need to think about the exhibition. The time for the show was still the same," Blue Morning" was still supposed to start at 12pm and end at 6pm as stated on the leaflet and the website. I had already booked tickets, so all I had to do now was show up tomorrow. As 1 lay down to sleep after eating dinner, my mind raced. I kept on thinking about the colour blue, the CN Tower and art. With all those thoughts mixing in with my dreams I fell asleep. In the morning I woke up prepared.
Today was the day of the exhibition. To say that I was excited is an understatement. My walk to the CN Tower was long, but I didn't feel like going by car. As I stood in front of CN Tower my heart was pounding inside my rib cage. Entering the tower felt like entering a different world. I showed my ticket to the front service and they told me that the event was held on the tenth floor. I got inside an elevator and pressed the button for the tenth floor. Going up you can see the sun shining through, the blue skies above and all the people around. Right now it was 11:50 am so I had 10 minutes before the exhibition started. It wasn't long before I reached the tenth floor, which was really high above. As I waited in front of the door to the exhibition room, I saw many people. People with suits, jeans, coloured hair and sophisticated clothes. Looking around me and seeing all these different people made me realise something, it was that art didn't have any barriers. No matter where you come from, who you are and what you do. Art is for everyone.
The doors opened and people walked inside, it was the time to see art. The exhibition room was astonishing with blue walls and marine life drawings on them. As I walked through and saw all the art blue filled my mind. There was a diverse bunch of art from portraits,sea life, the sky, the ocean,people and cities. The art pieces had everything.
The painting of a blue mermaid pulled me in, it was as if I was inside the painting. All the art that I looked at resonated within my being. My heart raced, with my eyes wide and wonder flooding through me I looked around. Art pieces that had blue angels, a blue city, an apple with shades of blue and a painting of show. Everything I looked at was something different with the same colours. I felt myself floating away in that world of blues. And I knew I wasn't the only one who was feeling like this. My eyes saw people with the same sense of wonder in their eyes as me.
By the time I got out of the CN Tower it was already 5:30 pm. I ended up staying the whole time almost at the exhibition with a new sense of determination. I got to my hotel. Right now I am in flight going back to Calgary. The exhibition had felt surreal, and ended up giving me many answers. The first answer being to the question "What I want to become To which my answer is an artist, I want to become an artist because I now I understand that art is a part of me. The second,
The answer is to the question “What is art?” My answer for the second question needed a lot more thinking than the first one. After wandering the exhibition I understood something. That something is that "Art is emotion" Art is something that people feel, art is when people paint their thoughts into something other people can see. Most of all is something that expresses some things that words can't, Putting your whole being into something is art.
With the answers to my questions and my mind clear, the plane landed in Calgary. As I looked outside the window,I was happy.